You love your baby more than anything…and that’s exactly why these thoughts are so scary and confusing.
Maybe you're having unwanted, horrifying images or thoughts about something bad happening to your baby.
Maybe you can't stop checking — their breathing, the monitor, the locks, the stove — even when you know it's okay.
Maybe your mind jumps to worst-case scenarios so fast it takes your breath away.
Maybe you've started avoiding certain situations, objects, or even holding your baby because intrusive fears make them feel unsafe.
Maybe you're Googling your thoughts in the middle of the night trying to figure out what's wrong with you.
Maybe you're scared to share your thoughts, worried what others will say about you as a parent.
Here’s what we need you to know:
Having these thoughts does not make you dangerous. It does not make you a bad mother. In fact, the distress you feel about them is a sign of how much you love your baby.
Intrusive thoughts and perinatal OCD are more common than most people realize, and with the right support, they are very treatable.
At Palmetto Psychology Clinic, we provide specialized online therapy for intrusive thoughts and OCD across California. You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through this alone.
We’ve helped hundreds of California moms with intrusive thoughts.
You’re not alone, and we can help.
What Intrusive Thoughts and OCD Look Like
Perinatal OCD and intrusive thoughts don’t always look like what people picture when they hear “OCD.”
Many women experiencing this are loving, careful, attentive mothers, which is part of why these thoughts are so distressing. You might:
- Have sudden, unwanted images or thoughts about your baby being hurt, even by you
- Feel a wave of horror immediately after the thought, followed by shame and panic
- Go out of your way to avoid anything that triggers the thoughts
- Check on your baby repeatedly even when you know they're okay
- Seek constant reassurance from your partner, doctor, Google, or ChatGPT
- Try to push away or "undo" a scary thought in your mind
- Feel terrified to be alone with your baby because the thoughts are so scary, even though you don't want to hurt them
- Confess your thoughts to your partner over and over hoping to feel better, but the relief never lasts
- Lie awake replaying thoughts, trying to figure out if they "mean something"
The distress you feel about these thoughts is not a red flag. It’s actually evidence that you are not a danger to your baby.
Moms with perinatal OCD are not at risk of acting on these thoughts. But you do deserve support so you don’t have to keep living in fear of your own mind.
Intrusive Thoughts and OCD Are Exhausting
Obsessive thoughts often become much more than “overthinking.” They can consume enormous amounts of mental energy and make it difficult to focus on work, relationships, parenting, or everyday life. You may experience:
- Constant doubt and uncertainty
- Repetitive unwanted thoughts or images
- Excessive reassurance seeking
- Mental reviewing or analyzing
- Checking behaviors
- Avoidance of situations, people, or triggers
- Difficulty making decisions
- Fear of making mistakes
- Feeling trapped in your own mind
- Anxiety that never seems fully resolved
Some people experience visible compulsions, while others experience mostly mental compulsions that happen internally and go unnoticed by others. Either way, the distress is real. Perhaps you’re constantly asking yourself:
- What if something bad happens?
- What if I hurt someone?
- What if I secretly want this?
- What if I made a mistake?
- What if I can't be certain?
Many people experiencing intrusive thoughts or OCD worry that their thoughts say something terrible about them. In reality, intrusive thoughts are often the exact opposite. The thoughts tend to target the things you care about most.
Bottom line: you are not your thoughts. And you do not have to keep living in fear of them.
Therapy for Intrusive Thoughts and Perinatal OCD
Therapy for intrusive thoughts and perinatal OCD is not about suppressing the thoughts or willing them away, because that actually makes them stronger.
At Palmetto, we use evidence-based approaches to help you change your relationship with these thoughts so they lose their power over your life.
In therapy, we may work on:
- Understanding why intrusive thoughts happen and why they don't mean you want them to happen
- Learning why reassurance-seeking, checking, and avoidance keep the anxiety cycle going
- Building tolerance for uncertainty without needing to "check" or "fix" it
- Reducing compulsions like checking, Googling, confessing, and mental reviewing
- Responding to scary thoughts in ways that decrease their power over time
- Rebuilding trust in yourself as a mother
- Getting back to things you've been avoiding out of fear
- Helping you feel safe in your own mind again
Our approach is compassionate, collaborative, and grounded in the most effective treatments for OCD and intrusive thoughts. We know how terrifying it can feel to say these thoughts out loud, and we also know that doing just that is often the first step to getting better.
At the end of therapy, our clients often tell us the thoughts still pop up sometimes, but they don’t send them into a spiral anymore. They know what’s happening, they know what to do, and they trust themselves to respond effectively.
